Baby, completely, wrapped up in you. w4m
I know, somewhere in that cold, dark abyss that you've let your heart slip into, you still miss me. I know that you think of me when it rains. I know you miss the rain. I know that you miss nights spent on the front porch talking about absolutely everything with a storm raging.
Once upon a time, boy met girl. Every cliche that I never thought I'd live...except that ever-elusive happy ever after.
Maybe it was my fault. Maybe the pain I faced before you came into my life went too deep and left too many scars and it was unfair to think you'd fight against my demons for the woman you'd known...the woman that you loved completely.
But maybe, just maybe, you made a mistake, too. Maybe turning into one of those demons and killing that one part of me that none of the others had ever come close to touching was your fault.
He beat me. He tried to kill me. I know that the issues he caused make me hard to deal with sometimes. You, on the other hand...you reinforced the words he said when he was physiy hurting me. You never once said the words he used, but pursuing another woman to the point of falling in love with her screamed the words at me through your silence...the way he'd screamed them as he choked me:
"You're worthless! No one could ever or will ever love you! You're the worst mistake I ever made."
And yet, I miss you every time it storms. I know what you think. That I'm still in love with the Other. The Wayward One. The one that came into my life so briefly after I fought my way out of the Hell of abuse. I let you believe that, because it hurt less than you knowing that I still loved you with every little piece of me.
You won't read this. I don't even actually know where you're living now...only that it's far away from a broken girl with a sweet smile that never quite reaches beautiful couple want flirt real sex dating blue eyes.
But if you do read it...you'll know the name my mother gave me...the name you only ed me twice, and you'll know what I'm ed by everyone that matters.